I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
