Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
