We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
