when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
