she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
