I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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