I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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