come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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