i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
