But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
