can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
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You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
