Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
