I want to have your abortion
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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