he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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