He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
