i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
