I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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