this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
