I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
