okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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