Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
