Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
