Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Where is the hickey?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
