Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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