I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
