someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Farmville is her only friend.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
