"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my sisters under your porch take her home
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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