it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
