Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
this must be what syphilis tastes like
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
