Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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