I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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