sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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