Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
