Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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