Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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