Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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