hell yes lets make some ravioli
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
