sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
