Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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