Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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