yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
