Dual....:-)
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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