would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
