You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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