Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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