So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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