id be glad to
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
