sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
