I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
