it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
